When your gone...

I haven't been myself the past couple of days. I've been fighting within myself of feelings that I've been holding in because I don't want to deal with them... I don't understand. I don't understand why I still have these feelings when I honestly don't even care about him anymore... BUT for some reason when I go out I happen to see 'Levi' shirts all around me and I see his bike... and its just like really though? I really don't understand.. its like I'm fighting with myself to not think about him when I don't even have any desire to be with him.. I really don't understand...

I Wish I could understand my feelings sometimes because sometimes I get in my moods and I really don't know how to get out of them.. and I feel bad for Jess cause she has to be around me.. and I notice when I get in a mood, i rub off on her and that isn't good...

I believe in love. I decided this tonight. I believe that there is someone out there for you.. I really believe in love. and I want that love that makes me smile. that when I see them I want to run to them and have them pick me up and never let me down. I want my wedding to be unforgettable. i want to wear the white wedding dress and I want to have children. and bake cookies.

I went to the Sunshine Coast this weekend. Just layed out on the beach and finally finished my book. I will start believing more inself and stop worrying so much about myself.

I decided to sign up for the personal trainer Brody. mainly because I need that added push right now and i want to start anew. and today is the perfect time. when I am away from everyone I love and know. I will be doing this for myself. i'm ready. i will post pictures updating on my success! i'm beyond excited and beyond ready.

I miss my mom. today was hard. i was talking to geri and she was saying that she'd be going home in dec and well i was like i wish I could go home just for christmas... it will be my first christmas away from my family... :(

i know a lot will happen in the next couple of months and i can't believe ive been away from everyone already for 3 months... wow. thats beyond crazy if you ask me.

sometimes. i have to take a step back and see what I'm doing and be like wow, i can't believe you did that... i am so proud of you... i can't believe i moved to australia... i can't believe it...


This song came on... and I guess its my song for someone right now.... (love and miss you...)

I always needed time on my own,
I never thought I'd, need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone,
And the bed where you lied, Is made up on your side.

When you walk awayI count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone, The pieces of my heart are missing you!
When you're gone, The face I came to know is missing too!
When you're gone, All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day...
And make it OK... I miss you.

I've never felt this way before, Everything that I do, Reminds me of you.
And the clothes you left, They lie on the floor,
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do!

When you walk awayI count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone, The pieces of my heart are missing you!
When you're gone, The face I came to know is missing too!
And when you're gone, The words I need to hear to always get me through the day...
And make it OK... I miss you.

We were made for each other, Out here forever, I know we were, Yeah Yeah!
All I ever wanted was for you to know,
Everything I do I give my heart and soul, I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me... Yeah!

When you're gone, The pieces of my heart are missing you!
When you're gone, The face I came to know is missing too!
When you're gone, The words I need to hear will always get me through the day...
And make it OK... I miss you!