Final Post being 22 years old..

I have 1 hour and 40 mins left being 22years old... I haven't posted anything on here in awhile and felt it was due time... especially with it being Christmas and all...

First of all, I have the bestest of best friend. Jessica Rene is truly a God sent to me and I don't even know where to start... I have never had a friend like Jess before and honestly couldn't ask for anything more in a friend. I can't wait for our future together and see where this path God has planned for us leads as currently its amazing...

A life without love is no life at all.

Sure I don't have a boyfriend -- nor do I even have a boy in my life -- But I do realized the importance of being loved and loving through experience...

In the last year I have learned A LOT about myself -

I learned who truly needs to be first in your life - God -

Sure, I have ALWAYS had him in my life but at times I have put him on the back burner and well I have learned from that.. Take Levi for example...

Probably one of my hardest life lessons yet something I could've gotten through easy with God... I was placing Levi first in my life and well I didn't have God in my life and when Levi and I broke up who did I turn to? Not God... I turned to others to fill that missing place in my heart.. yet they never helped and I only got more hurt.. and nothing was replacing the feeling of what truly was missing...

It wasn't until about 2 months ago when I finally saw the light and saw exactly what I need in life - Baby Jesus!!

I have gone through heaps of mind thinking about Levi and such because we had such a horrible ending and we never really had a goodbye and well its weird for me having someone out there with not even knowing everything and well I know now all is forgiven - I don't have to talk to him to tell him - because it is in my heart that I forgive him - Life can go on -

The most important things is life are the lessons that God gives us - He will only give us what we can handle - but it is up to us how we handle them...

I don't know what I want to do with my life but I know I want to help others

I love water
I love swimming
I love gymnastics
I love walking
I love wondering
I love getting dressed up
I love rings
I love horses
I love birds
I love tattoos
I love cooking
I love baking
I love cookies
I love peanut butter
I love love.
I love pretending I know how to sing
I love the name day
I love driving fast.
I love bracelets that Jessica gives me
I love the color blue/green/pink mixed together
I wish I knew French
I wish I could fly
I wish mossies couldn't bite
I wish Jessica and I had our own place
I wish my mom was here for my birthday
I wish I had the guts to cut my hair
I Hope for world peace

I know I have a purpose in this life and currently I am searching for this purpose in my life

I maybe turning 23 BUT I know time goes by because I still rememeber my 10th birthday like it was 5 years ago... lol I know I only have this short time on Earth and want to live it to fullest

I don't know when I'll be coming home or even where I'll be going in the next couple of months - I have my Church currently praying for hardcore guidance for Jess and I as I know there is something out there 0 BUT I don't what...

Remember Faith, Hope and Love

I love you all heaps! and I truly hold you all dear to my heart

Thank you for everything

Mom- Thank you for everything in the last 23 years you have shown me so much and I am so proud to call you my mother -I wish you were here more than anything - but know this mom - Jessica is taking care of me - so you have nothing to worry about!!

Jamie- the best sister a sister could ask for - Thank you for always being there for me -

Casey - I love you more and more - honestly you make me so happy - you know what it feels like to be away from home and well thank you for making me feel at home - and thank you so much for making me feel a part of Kiefers life... even though I am thousand miles away... that honestly means a lot to me...

Jessica - Husband - If I could find a boy like you I'd never have to complain about another boy again - nor would I have to claim of being a lesbain again.. I don't know what I'd do without you - I know when I get off my path you are there holding my hand guilding me back.. I can't even explain to you what you mean to me - as I love you more than I can ever express - the last 6 months have truly shown me there is such a thing as a 'best friend' - thank you... (It is not finished...)

At night when I lay in bed - I often think about what I want in my life and the one thing I want is someone I can trust, love and expericnce life with.. I don't want to feel like everything I say is being judged or that I can't be myself.. I want to know that they can trust me 100% of the time and I want to be able to trust them 100% of the time.. I know I've been hurt in the past but thats the past and I know the future will only bring good times...

I only have 50 mins left until I turn 23 and I know the last year I have grown more than the last 22 years... This has been the hardest past 6 months of my life - BUT I know in the end I am only learning and being put through tests and God is seeing if I can doit alone or if I will actually turn to Him and ask...

I want everyone to rememeber the meaning behind Christmas - Baby Jesus's birthday!!!!

yay! I want to wish Him a Happy Birthday right now!!! and wish everyone a Merry Christmas!!!

I love you all!

XOXO

dayyyyyyyyyy

Things I want to do before I turn 50:

1. See the Grand Canyon
2. TBA