Finding MY Path...

'Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.' - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes I sit around and question things and wonder why I stayed home on a Saturday night listening to my old church sermons when I was getting text messages and phone calls from all my friends asking where I was and if I was coming out... I didn't answer. I stayed curled up in my bed listening to Ron talk about God... Talk about something I don't understand. Something I question ALL of the time...

I've grown up in a christian family and always 'believed' in God.. BUT, I also questioned it VERY oftened... like if there is a 'God' why is there so many problems within the world... and why do such horrible things happen to people... however, i've started to understand things more clearly these past couple of days...

I understand why I stayed home Saturday night... I was supposed to listen to Ron's Sermon with Miss. Arizona and her talking about her rape... and how she grew closer to God because of it... Now, if I would've been her I probably would've grown further away from God... but she knew that God only gives you things that you can handle... and it created her testimony... God gives you tests... why does he do that? why would God want to see someone go through such PAIN just to see if they can handle it? that is something I don't understand... But I do understand no matter what he is ALWAYS with you... all you have to do is ask..

I'm ready. I'm finally letting go of my walls to God and understanding that he is there and I need him in my life. Sure, I've always had him in my life.. but it wasn't until now that I truly understand that I have a path in life and God has this for me I just have to set up and allow him in to help me find this path in life... and well, I'm finally letting myself go and giving myself to him...

The best relationship in life is the relationship you create with God... why? because he is everything you want in life.. he will give you everything you want and need... love, trust and honesty....

I'm turning my life around right here and right now.. I was talking to Jess last night about all of this and decided that sure Levi keeps presenting himself in my life.. somehow... and yeah I don't like it.. but, I just have to hold on to God and allow him into my life because Levi is part of my past and not my future.. because if Levi was I wouldnt be where I am today AND I wouldn't be developing this amazing relationship with myself and God...

This is why I'm here. thisis why I'm in Australia... I'm finally understanding my life and why I'm here... I don't know my path at all yet... but that is all forming right now.. and I'm just going to start praying more about my life path and where I'm supposed to be going and what I'm supposed to be doing...

Well, I'm off to bed.

just know that I love you and miss you all.

always,

dayyyy

When your gone...

I haven't been myself the past couple of days. I've been fighting within myself of feelings that I've been holding in because I don't want to deal with them... I don't understand. I don't understand why I still have these feelings when I honestly don't even care about him anymore... BUT for some reason when I go out I happen to see 'Levi' shirts all around me and I see his bike... and its just like really though? I really don't understand.. its like I'm fighting with myself to not think about him when I don't even have any desire to be with him.. I really don't understand...

I Wish I could understand my feelings sometimes because sometimes I get in my moods and I really don't know how to get out of them.. and I feel bad for Jess cause she has to be around me.. and I notice when I get in a mood, i rub off on her and that isn't good...

I believe in love. I decided this tonight. I believe that there is someone out there for you.. I really believe in love. and I want that love that makes me smile. that when I see them I want to run to them and have them pick me up and never let me down. I want my wedding to be unforgettable. i want to wear the white wedding dress and I want to have children. and bake cookies.

I went to the Sunshine Coast this weekend. Just layed out on the beach and finally finished my book. I will start believing more inself and stop worrying so much about myself.

I decided to sign up for the personal trainer Brody. mainly because I need that added push right now and i want to start anew. and today is the perfect time. when I am away from everyone I love and know. I will be doing this for myself. i'm ready. i will post pictures updating on my success! i'm beyond excited and beyond ready.

I miss my mom. today was hard. i was talking to geri and she was saying that she'd be going home in dec and well i was like i wish I could go home just for christmas... it will be my first christmas away from my family... :(

i know a lot will happen in the next couple of months and i can't believe ive been away from everyone already for 3 months... wow. thats beyond crazy if you ask me.

sometimes. i have to take a step back and see what I'm doing and be like wow, i can't believe you did that... i am so proud of you... i can't believe i moved to australia... i can't believe it...


This song came on... and I guess its my song for someone right now.... (love and miss you...)

I always needed time on my own,
I never thought I'd, need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone,
And the bed where you lied, Is made up on your side.

When you walk awayI count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone, The pieces of my heart are missing you!
When you're gone, The face I came to know is missing too!
When you're gone, All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day...
And make it OK... I miss you.

I've never felt this way before, Everything that I do, Reminds me of you.
And the clothes you left, They lie on the floor,
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do!

When you walk awayI count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone, The pieces of my heart are missing you!
When you're gone, The face I came to know is missing too!
And when you're gone, The words I need to hear to always get me through the day...
And make it OK... I miss you.

We were made for each other, Out here forever, I know we were, Yeah Yeah!
All I ever wanted was for you to know,
Everything I do I give my heart and soul, I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me... Yeah!

When you're gone, The pieces of my heart are missing you!
When you're gone, The face I came to know is missing too!
When you're gone, The words I need to hear will always get me through the day...
And make it OK... I miss you!

"Dayna Will You Marry Me?...."

So, mom I don't know how to tell you this... but today after work I was in the back room of Starbucks and Jared was hanging out and he was like 'would you stay in Australia?' and i was just like umm I don't know maybe.. and he was like 'what if you were to get married?, would you stay then?' i was like well duh yeah.. lol and the next thing i knew Jared was down on one knee saying ' dayna will you marry me?' he had made a ring out of a starbucks straw and honestly it was the cutest and funniest thing ever... he was like c'mon wouldn't that be the best story ever! lol.. and i was just like omg, the backroom of starbucks has been a HUGE part of my life... lol that is where Jess and I decided on moving to Australia... I was washing dishes she was putting the order away... weird now that jared is asking me to stay in australia.... ooooh the fun times.... but i kindly said no..

well, I'm beyond tired and sore from working out today... Brody my trainer wasn't in a good mood today so that wasn't good... BUT I did get a good workout from it... HOWEVER I think he thinks I'm weak because I don't have any strength left in me... it sucks... oh well I'll get it back... I just wish I had more than a Starbucks budget right now because I'd love to be able to see him 3 times a week... but thats 165 dollars... and whoa!

i also had this girl tell me today.. she is going to be the last person I love... I was like whoa thats deep.. lol... really though!?

lol... the security guard Brett at the Myer centre also told me today if I wanted to stay in the country he'd happily marry me as well.. I was just like whoa... 3 shocks in one day...

well I'm off to bed...

g'night

love always

dayyy

Pour you heart into it...

This won't be long but I wanted to write something since I haven't been on here since last Tuesday... I have worked this whole week starting at 6am (more like 5:46am...) lol

First of all, I started my training to be shift on Monday, actually I started on Friday when my Manager Thomas said to me.. "today you are going to run shift" and i was like 'umm okay?.... I haven't started any training yet... or done anything really yet...' he was just like "Well, the best way to learn is by mistakes...." sooooooooo I was handed the keys and told to 'count the safe' (I HAD NEVER COUNTED THE SAFE!!!!!!!!!!) and he walked away.... with the keys in my hand I decided to just try to remember what I had seen Sandy kinda sorta show me...

So pretty much you arrive at 6am and you have to have the whole store ready for business by 6:20am... that includes for me setting up the pastry case, counting the safe, handing out tills, assigning positions, filling out duty roster, making sure my barista is ready to serve the coffee, and put out patio.... so, there really isn't any time to mess around or not do what you are supposed to do because the opening shift sets the day...

I would say from last Friday until today I have noticed my voice hurting... why? because I actually have to talk A LOT!! and when I used to be a little barista I usually just stayed behind my bar and just made drinks.... but nope... as shift I am the one running around 'floating' as Starbucks calls it... lol and I am interacting with my Barista's and customers... I am the one that is there when a problem happens and i'm the one on the phone calling people to fix that problem....

At first I was beyond overwhelmed mainly because I was basically thrown in to the shift without any training and was just expected to know how to do it... however, I guess thats a good thing for me because it required me to take the time to find out everything and anything ALL on my own... the thing that sucks is when my manager says, 'Did you do this.. or did you input the invoices?' and its just like NO I DIDN'T BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW!!!! - its just fustrating when you are supposed to be a mind reader.. cuz i'm not....

I have started to notice the difference of a shift to a barista of how the people treat the Barista's and the Shifts.... I guess the shifts do have more responsiblity and do require more respect.. but I never really knew about it until I was placed into that role... i honestly think people listen to you more when you are a shift because its like you actually know your stuff or something... lol...

I just want to have more of a voice... I notice myself being scared to say something sometimes in fear of someone looking at me like who the hell is she?... but then again.. that is part of my job...

tonight i did my first closing of a till with a new barista and I saw it in her eyes that she was holding back the tears because there is SOOOOOOO much that goes into closing of the tills here in Australia (and its REALLY complicated at first...) and I just started to talk to her about it... and was just trying to make her feel like what she is doing is good.. and that she should be proud of herself and not freaking out... and well it just made me feel good about the job... and where i am at the store... i like the job...

lol funny i said that because 2 days ago I was asking myself why I ever said yes... i am finding it hard to be a manager under a manager... because he knows what needs to be done and waits to correct me rather than tell me.. (this is NOT my store manager Thomas as he is being EXTREMELY helpful with my learning process in this...)

well I have working again tomorrow morning so I best be going to bed.... waking up at 4am is not fun.. and going to bed at 10pm isn't good.. ah or 11pm i should say.. lol...

I started my work out plan with a personal trainer yesterday and lets just say he is going to kick my ass!! and I'm such a smart ass with him, I honestly don't know why because he is the one telling me what to do... so i should be nice to him.. but for some reason I'm not.. lol well Im nice but a smartass... and he sure tells me too.. lol...

I will let you know how it goes but I bet ya I will be unable to bend down tomorrow from soreness.... lol

well Im offf to bed

LOVE YOU ALL AND MISS YOU MORE!!!
weird that i've been gone for 3 months tomorrow.... whoa...

i miss my mom.
"you gotta be like a sponge" just soak it all up!!

So much to say SO little time...

First off, I'd like to start off by saying if you email me and I don't email you back - I'm sorry its in NO way a reflection to how I feel its just I'd rather be running around than sitting at home writing emails ALL day.. THIS blog site was my excuse so I didn't have to send out SO many emails updating people on my life.. and I know I'm horrible at updating this site as well.. BUT then again I'd rather be out in the world than sitting at home writing a blog.. lol :)

Lets see here, A LOT has been happening in my life the last couple of days...

hmmm.... I don't even know where to start -

My name was said in the weekly update on Starbucks Newsletter - it was something along the lines of 'Dana inspires the management' (there was A LOT more... BUT i don't rememeber.. lol) my DM also said something along the lines of I'm really helping my store with bring the excitement of the US market over here... and he cant wait to see me as a Shift...

My manager Thomas and I start training on Monday for me to become a shift :) my goals as a shift will be - to make the enviroment fun and exciting - that was one thing when I was working with certain shifts and how they just made the day fun rather than stressful - because it is JUST COFFEE! - i want my barista to fully know they can trust me in.. and that is why I'm starting to learn ALL of my stuff now because I want them to know they can fall on me for anything and i'd be there to catch them... - i don't ever want to be known as a bossy shift HOWEVER my nickname growing up was 'bossy' so eek!! lol... I know I will have things to work on once I take on the role as Shift BUT i will also being growing and learning therefore it will be good for me... I was thinking today that I am proud of myself - I told myself this is what I want to do and well... Its happening.. and I just want EVERYONE to know if you believe in something DO IT! only you can hold yourself back from your dreams...

I was also thinking something that I've always wanted since I was little was to be an FBI agent.. and I was just thinking about what steps I need to start taking to do this... and as of right now I don't know.. and well I was talking to Stevie my AssisitManger and well he was like Dayna I see you working for Starbucks BUT behind the scene.. you have so much passion for others and I can see you doing something for Starbucks to help... and I was like weird I was kinda thinking the same thing.. he also said he could see me becoming an assisitmanager too.. (I was like what!!? ME!? ah!) lol... and he was like yes you have it in you... and I was like yeah BUT i'd never want to be a Store Manger.. and he was like no you aren't mean enough to do that role... lol...

Last night- My friend Heather was in a show 'Ah I can't rememeber the NAME!...' (ummm I think it was something to do about Wars..) ummm yeah I don't rememeber the name! umm sorry! lol.. it was a really good play.. I loved the enviroment for the play it was in a schools play area OUTSIDE but it wasREALLY cool because they had a building they used that had 4 levels so the play was ALL over the place.. it was really nice! :)

I have been doing A LOT of thinking the last couple of days and I've been doing a lot of debating as well... I have decided that my one thing in life is to do what makes me happy and stop worrying so much of what others think.. and well thats so hard to do especially when I have a friend that believes you should live a certain way because of what a book says.. don't get me wrong I believe in Jesus and I believe in Heaven and Hell... BUT I also believe you should live your life the way you want to live it and NOT just by the Bible... This has been a hard thing for me for some time.. I curse - therefore I'm a sinner - I don't pray before every meal - does that make me a sinner? - I hardly ever pray - is that wrong? - I don't know... BUT i DO know that I believe in Jesus and I tell him daily I love him and I'm thankful to be here.. I don't like it when Christians say one thing and do another thing... and that is why I won't ever tell you to do something because of the Bible... Because I DONT! - I don't like when Christians live a certian way but act a different way behind close doors.. I am me and what you see is what you get.. ask me and I will tell you... I may sound REALLY cowardly right now.. BUT the thing is I really want people to live their life for themselves... and stop living it for others.. this is something I've been doing for sometimes...

I was in a relationship with someone and when I stopped loving them - I stayed in it because I thought I couldn't do better and I'd rather stay in the relationship and be unhappy than say I've had enough I'm moving on...I didn't want to leave HIM alone... I didn't want to HURT him... I didn't want to make him SAD.. it took him cheating on me for me to FINALLY say I'm done... why is it that people stay in BAD relationships for the other person? what does it take for someone to realize how AMAZING they are and should put their energy towards someone that actually desires their time and energy! I really hate seeing my friends not happy because of a partner BUT sometimes you just have to sit on the sideline and hope for the best... I even see my friends in relationships with people they'd never be with JUST because they want to be inthe 'relationship'.. WHY DO PEOPLE LOWER THEIR STANDARDS FOR OTHERS!!?!? IT just doesn't make sense...

In the end... I wish people would just live their life for themselves and be happy with who they are- you only have one life... therefore - LIVE IT!!!

I want to add to this blog that being placed in a different enviorment with different people REALLY gets your mind thinking and well.. I'm sorry if I'm too direct or blunt.. BUT I've always been the one to just keep my mouth shut and always wish I could do more for myself... BUT i never do... therefore - BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE -

LOVE always,

dayna elaine

Controlling Thoughts..

I'm trying to understand a lot right now.. and currently my mind is all over the place and all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry. BUT, I'm not going to because well thats just not me. I have things going through my head right now about life and questions of my past and of my future. I have to face some things and some things I'd rather not face. I am becoming stronger but it isn't easy. I am becoming more open, but that isn't easy. I'm becoming me and that isn't easy. I find myself fighting not only with myself but with my best friend because of these reasons and I wish I didn't have to but sometimes thats just life and you have to dance with the music that is given to you. and well, I'm trying to dance even though it isn't easy. This probably isn't making much sense because well I have a lot going on and I'm trying to just write it out and not go to sleep with so much on my mind.

Today I worked from 8am-5:30pm at Starbucks... That was open to close at my store... and it wasn't too much fun. BUT it wasn't too bad either. I have started a new goal or moreso new challenge for myself that I will complete a coffee tasting everytime I work.. why you may ask? well I've worked at Starbucks for 3 years and I have yet to complete a coffee passport.. so I have made this my goal and I brought it up to my manager that I want everyone in my store to become more knowlegdable about coffee as well... so i am starting a contest at my store for my partners to complete their passports and I am making up a posterboard with all my partners names and the different coffees... its going to be fun and exciting! My manager told me today that he really likes my passion.. I told him I don't want to lose it!!! so I will do my best to stay with it!!! lol...

well, I have to work early tomorrow morning so I best be going to bed! soooooo.. goodnight and hopefully my life will all come together and I won't have just 'gulit' as I do right now.. wait guilt isn't the right word.. i won't have all this worry i have right now... and don't ask me what worry because I really can't explain it.. but just pray that it comes about all good... and holla! :) lol

LOVE YOU ALL HEAPS! - Especially Jamie Marie! - you are my shining star and I thank God for making you my sister - couldn't have a better sister.. thank you for everything you've ever done for me... you mean more to me than you think...

G'night

always and forever,

dayna elaine

p.s

Believe in yourself...

This is something I find myself fighting with often.. believing in myself and knowing what I can do with my abilities and life... So, in my last post I said I decided I was going to stay at Starbucks and just put myself out there and show my passion for the job... well, it paid off... Today my manager told me he wanted to have a talk with me.. (I was like OMG... I'm in trouble.. lol jk.. I knew it wasn't bad because him and I had been talking all morning long..) and well I at first sat down with Robbie our DM and did a coffee tasting with him (which my manager was impressed that I started the coffee tasting ALL on my own! holla! lol) well LONG story short... I start training next Monday to become a shift supervisor!!! yay!!! I highly believe in if you believe in something it will happen... and well lately I've been LOVING work! I haven't had anything really to complain about besides not really having a say.. which will be changing soon!!! I'm so excited.. but I honestly don't know how to handle it.. like do I jump up and down??? or do I just go, yep I got shift.... ya..y! lol like i don't want to step on any toes.. and i know when i was around people that became shifts and how some of them acted really made a difference.. so that kinda scares me in a way.. but i don't know.. I'm making this a short blog because I've been awake since 4am and didn't go to bed until 11pm.. so I'm tired!!! BUT i wanted to give you a little update on my life since I haven't been on here in awhile..

yeah this is what I look like at work... lol... i don't rememeber why I did this.. or why jess took the picture.. but its kinda funny... lol
MY STORE!!!! this is where I stand for about 7 hours of my day... lol yep right here... isn't my store pretty!? I love it!!! yay to Queen St!!!
ah watchout!!! i'll get you with the big huge gun of whip cream!!! haha!
YAY!!!! welcome to MY store!!!!! isn't it pretty!!!? I will get more pictures so you can see exactly what I look at!!! its a PRETTY view!!! i look at building and TONS of people!!! its fun!!!